In the recent election cycle we, the people, have been force fed the concept of hope at record levels. Not only the democrats and their king of wishful thinking Senator Obama, but even the republicans are running on the fact that we can all hope for a better tomorrow. I was under the impression that the republican party was based on the concept of 'don't let the government do too much because they will eventually fuck you over,' and 'when shit goes wrong make sure you have enough guns.' I MEAN C'MON!!! HOPE?!?!?!?!?!?! Hope is gonna get us all killed!
Now defensive pessimism is the way to do it. Defensive pessimism creates a constant win/win situation. Americans should go into the next four years anticipating a total shit show. That way, when John McCain wins, then dies, and Sarah Palin becomes President, and she places Tod Palin into the new position of Grand Moff (leader of the TOD SQUAD), and then Palin dissolves the congress and replaces them with the upper level membership of the NRA and makes herself queen of America for life, and then gives her crown to track or trig or whatever on her deathbed, when that happens, we wont be too upset, because we knew somthing like this would happen. And on the other hand, when Obama wins next week, and we find out that he is actually Jesus and we are all being judged positively and going to an eternal existance of bliss and peace and love, it will be a nice pleasant surprise.
SO COME ON AMERICA, they say that it has hurt McCain in the polls to go negative... I say go negative, that way when the world goes to shit we arent too upset, and even the slightest positives will make it feel like our birthdays. But then again it doesnt actually matter, we all are going to have cancer from our bluetooth devices anyways.
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1 comment:
Hear hear. I keep on telling people that McCain is going to win next week, because it would lead to an infinitely funnier four years.
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